Have you ever been asking for help and been interrupted part way through your question? Often the person interrupts you and gives you “the answer.” What triggers the answer that was given? I believe it is often a “reflexive response” to a word or phrase in you request. That word triggers a specific response, regardless of everything else in the request. 

You may walk up to someone at a hotel and say, “I am here for the XYZ meeting…” and be interrupted with “You will need to go to the information desk to find out about that meeting.” In fact, you were about to ask, “I am here for the XYZ meeting and I just realized I have a flat tire on my car. Where can I use a telephone to call AAA?” The person heard “meeting” and reflexively responded with how to get information about meetings. You probably would have been better off starting with “Where can I use a telephone to call AAA?” But the problem really isn’t yours. The reflexive response is caused by someone not listening and responding to your needs but rather responding to one of your words or phrases.

The reflexive response can also occur at the end of the request, without any interruption. You go through a long statement about a product that doesn’t work. You are very upset. The customer service person lets you go until you stop, as is recommended. At the end of your statement you say, “Maybe I would have been better off going to XYZ and using price matching to buy this item.” The person responds, in what seems like it is coming from out of the blue, “If you have a printed ad for an item and your receipt, we will be happy to price match it and give you a refund.” The person has reflexively responded to “price matching” rather than understanding everything you were saying. The presence of that phrase short circuited the ability to understand the real problem.

RULE 1: When someone is asking for help, let them finish before saying anything.

RULE 2: Work to understand what they really are asking. Do not reflexively respond to one word or phrase.

We all provide service, whether it is someone walking up to us on the street or part of our job. Do you have any examples of reflexive responses that you have gotten?  Do you have any samples of your reflexive responses?